Leading people is all about building relationships, and one of the most important elements of a relationship is effective communication. Communication doesn’t happen unless you learn to listen more and talk less.
When you talk less and listen more this is what you’re conveying:
- You value other people and their opinion.
- You value other people’s time.
- You’re able to hear and consider multiple points of view.
I have never heard of anyone who experienced a negative side effect from saying less while listening more. Therefore, here are seven tips on how to listen more and talk less:
- Give complete and focused attention to the conversation. You pay attention to what you most value. When you pay close attention to another person, you tell that person that they are of great value to you.
- Don’t think about what you are going to say next, while the other person is speaking. Don't worry about that, just listen. Work to understand the message.
- Establish a dialogue. Confirm understanding by rephrasing pertinent discussion issues. Summarize what you heard. Then offer an opinion or fact at some points. But remember, you are to lead them through a conversation to where they can examine their own thinking.
- Be curious. Ask for clarification. Don’t assume that you know what the other person is thinking or feeling. It is when you ask questions and seek clarity that you demonstrate that you really care about what is being said. Ask questions based on what you heard. It makes people feel good when they are asked a question that shows someone has been listening to them or is interested in them.
- Respect silence. When pauses occur in the natural flow of the conversation, don't feel that you must instantly fill the void. Silence is ok. People need time to digest what has been said before, or just to think.
- Remain patient and don’t interrupt. Interruptions are plain rude and tells the other person you care more about what you have to say than about what they have to say.
- Think before you speak. Give yourself a few seconds before you start talking. Ask yourself if your contribution to the conversation is relevant, and if it is the right time. If it is not, keep quiet.
In business, you need to listen more and talk less – with customers, advisors, investors, and your team members. When you do talk, concentrate on making it effective.
Responsible, effective listening is a rare skill that will give you a sustainable competitive advantage over your peers and your competitors. It can be developed with practice.
Remember. . .
Listen more and talk less! The rewards are great.
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Photo by: jeanbaptisteparis