Positive words are as refreshing and life giving as water is to life. Words can hurt and shock, or they can heal and lift spirits. Words can change life for better or for worst.
Leaders use power and influence in many different ways and with different results. Some seem to feel the only way to influence people is by using negative words, threats, and criticism. People respond out of fear. Others are able to move people harmoniously toward exceptional results through positive words and influence. Today I invite you to reflect in the kind of power and influence you want to wield. I posit that positive influence is more desirable, leaves less “collateral damage,” and gets better results.
In the book Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance, Kim Cameron reports on a study conducted in 2004 (You can read the details in chapter 4 of the book). The results of the study demonstrate that in high performing organizations the top management team members used an abundance of positive comments. A ratio between 5-9 positive statements to every 1 negative statement is predictive of the highest levels of performance. There are other studies that uphold similar ratios of positive to negative. There is power in positive words!
Leaders become a positive force when they can learn to lift others. You create positive results by focusing on strengths that lead to positive action. Let us examine a few strategies that can help leaders be able to influence others with positive words for positive results.
- Be positive. Our words are a reflection of what’s going on inside of us. You can not share positive words if you have a negative attitude. Therefore, cultivate a positive outlook and share positive thoughts, feedback, and encouragement.
- Screen what comes in. Zig Ziglar said: “You are what you are because of what goes into your mind.” When we listen, watch, and read mostly negative material, and let ourselves be surrounded by negative and gloomy people, it will “infect” us.
- Start your day with positive input. Just like we are advised to start the day with a good, nutritional breakfast, we need to put something good into our minds. Instead of watching or reading mostly negative news, read something uplifting to inspire you positively.
- Choose to lift others with your words. Choose to replace words that hurt with words that encourage, engage, and enrich. You can choose to complain or express appreciation; to tear people down or to build them up; to ignore people or to greet them; to take people for granted or to tell them they are valued; to point out everything that is wrong, or to celebrate the things that are right; to discourage or encourage others; to demand or to request; to use angry words and tone or gentle words and tone; to be rude or kind. The problem is that we say too many things without thinking. Be sure to make conscious choices about your words.
- Look for the good and positive. If you look for the good in people and situations, you will find it. Remember the old saying: “we always find what we are looking for.” You can learn to look for the good instead of the bad, the right instead of the wrong, the beautiful instead of the ugly, and the joy instead of the sorrow. What would happen if leaders decided to regularly open meetings asking something like: “who has good news? who has something good to say?”
- Encourage and affirm others. Instead of focusing on mistakes and what people do wrong, emphasize either what they did right or that they could do. Praising employees for their achievements and encouraging them to see the opportunities will have a positive impact. It will positively affect not only their lives, but also the bottom line of the business. When people receive acknowledgment for what they have done well, they are stimulated to do even better and greater things the next time. Sincere and specific praise brings out the best in others.
Many years ago the wise Dale Carnegie wrote: “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain--and most fools do.” You are no fool. . . . You can train yourself to look for the good in yourself, your world, and others. And then you can share and celebrate the positive. You will be surprised how much positive influence you will have, and how good you will feel. Try it!
Share with us your comments and your stories about how positive words have made a difference in your life.