We have the ability to communicate our thoughts in real time. We don’t need to plan what we’re going to say beforehand. This is great when we are brainstorming, or when there is an emergency and we need to issue a warning. It can be a problem when what we say is something we later wish we had either not said, or said differently.
Have you ever experienced this?
- You open your mouth before realizing what your thoughts are and then go: Did I just say that out loud?
- You want to state your differing opinion, but end up going with the flow of everybody else’s thoughts, even thought you strongly disagree.
- You blurt out an opinion about something you really don't know much about . . . and are embarrassed by the ensuing silence and rolling eyes.
All of the above can be avoided if you just make a habit of paying attention to your thoughts before opening your mouth.
Often when we respond in a less than appropriate way, it’s because we didn’t fully understood what was being said, or we let emotions take over. Take time to sit back and listen. Listen to what’s going on around you. Listen also to your internal dialogue, your reactions and thoughts about what is going on. Don’t start focusing on what you’re going to say; just be aware, absorb, notice.
Then, decide which of your thoughts and feelings to share and how. Some times, if you wait a bit longer, someone else might communicate thoughts similar to yours, and you can naturally continue the conversation. Other times you could decide it’s not the best moment to share your thoughts.
If you decide you do want to share your thoughts, you will be able to do it in a way that is clear, concise, and appropriate.
Remember that respect for others is shown by the words you exchange with them. Pay attention to your thoughts! If you do, you will use the right words and the right voice at the right time.
What do you think?
In what circumstances do you say things that, later, you wish you had said differently? How can you be mindful of your thoughts while you are involved in a conversation? Share your comments with us.
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Photo by: Sean Loyless